I Looked for Chocolate, I Found Something More

Most mornings when I come into work, I stop by the vending machine to buy a Snicker's Bar. Now, chocolate is the only thing that keeps me awake during the day after I eat my breakfast in the morning and before my break for lunch.

I'm not a morning person. I'm not a fan of coffee.

But, this particular morning, the Vendor Person didn't grace the machine with my lovable Snicker's Bars. I needed to get my chocolate in any way I could to help me survive this day's challenges. So, I decided to satisfy my need with my next favorite, Peanut M&M's.

When I opened the bag, the strangest thing happened. Only the colors, yellow, brown, and orange M&M's filled the bag, along with my eyes, with chocolately tempation. All of a sudden, and I'm not sure why, but I felt like I was then the Lucky Winner of a Worldwide Contest M&M's was having; that whoever found their bag only filled with Halloween colors, (yellow, brown, and orange, and maybe green to differentiate from the already Peanut BUTTER version) would be the Winner.

Maybe a lump sum of money, maybe a lump sum of M&M's, who knows?

Before I proceeded on a never-ending quest for confirmation of a contest that only existed in my thoughts, I asked myself, "Why didn't they come up with this idea for the 'candy' season?" I know before they held a contest for whoever located the ALL BROWN BAG, and they've made it a convenience for M&M lovers to customize the "M" and replace it with their own words, but I'm not familiar with anything recent other than that?

My idea is that they should do something of such sorts for different holidays as well, i.e., Christmas, Valentine's Day, 4th of July. I think that would be pretty cool and just another method they could use to boost their already loving product. However, it should start with Halloween, in my opinion, seeing as how they generally are a Candy Market.

With my recent studies, it's helping me to look at things differently. And with the absence of my everyday chocolate, it helped to substitute for something more.

Sometimes you can come across ideas in the places you wouldn't think to look for them, no matter how accidental.

So what do you think???

If M&M's held a contest for whoever found their "Halloween Bag", would you be apt to buy more quantities in hopes of winning that lump sum of money? Or would you think it another failed attempt in trying to sell a candy most people already love buying?

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Working on my Writing Skills

gripping the rusted key as I guide it to it's home. turning it all the way to the right as far as it will let me, I hear the minimal click indicating the key is safe and sound, only thing left is for me to be the same way. so once the lock clicks, I grab the golden knob below and twist it until gives passage to my haven. I suddenly feel the cool breeze slap my face after dealing with the unbearable heat rays from the outside. quickly I shut the door behind me to prevent any uninvited heat from coming in. then I turn the lock to the right to block any intruders out. and now I am safe. I unfasten my keys from its holder and remove my sunglasses from a sweaty forehead and place them on the hook to my left. next to the window where the sunlight moves in and lands on my couch. the matching couch sits perpendicular on the left, and there is where I reside most times. but before my comfort can be fully achieved, other obligations must be met. I look at my favorite couch and sigh to myself as I ponder how long it will be until we meet again. I must move swiftly. first things first, I march to my bathroom, start the shower, and turn on my fluorescent pink light that I purchased at Wal Mart. the light drapes over my bathroom sink and covers my jewelry boxes, toothpaste, deodorants, perfumes, lotions, and hair products. I get rid of my silver necklace and earrings and gently organize them in my boxes. freeing my ears and neck from the pressures of accessories. then I retrieve the gray clips that sit on the marble counter, and use 6 for assistance in keeping my hair in tact. swoop up my black hair scarf and tie it securely to cover my natural hair strands from the raging water of the shower head. time to remove the layers of clothing, I think my water is ready. 
Scarlett Kiss shower gel, turquoise and mint green loofa, with shower rain: ingredients to wind down for the evening. after about 10 minutes or so of cleansing, it's about time to dry off. a bit of hesitation rushes over me as I anticipate the chilling breeze after a fresh shower. but I cannot stay in here forever, so I must face the temporary shivering as I hurry to erase the water spots with my lavender bath towel and lunge for my canary yellow robe. the warmth from the robe provides immediate heat and my body gives way in it's natural attempt to produce heat. then suddenly, I feel the emptiness in the depth of my gut, and I listen to the mild rumbling coming from within indicating my hunger has surfaced. as I slip into my cream-colored slippers, I march to the kitchen and investigate the options for dinner. first the cabinets, then the freezer, and finally the refrigerator. After extensive deliberation, I've concluded tonight's menu will include: fried catfish, spaghetti, and seasoned green beans. not too complicated or time consuming, but well needed. once dinner is complete, I think I can finally find my spot on my couch. but not before feeding my baby black and white Dutch rabbit. it would be somewhat unfair if my stomach is full and hers is empty. I walk back to my bedroom and turn the golden knob and as I turn to my right, my eyes meet hers. she looks up at me then dances in circles in her cage, hopping and leaping. my voice screeched out of happiness and startled her timid nature. I kneel down and open her white and purple cage and comfort her by stroking from the top of her nose to the back to her ears. repeating this type of affection as always brought peace to my little one. as she is but 6 months now, I still reminisce on having to calm her during the earlier stages of our friendship in this way. now she's privy to all my little games with her. from playing tag, to teaching her tricks, and laying her on my chest. as we both grow, so does our companionship. as I get lost in my time travel of memories, it almost slips my mind she still needs to be fed; until she nipped my finger, bringing it to my attention. 'Ok, Ok little one, here you go' I whisper as I fill her lime green food bowel with wheat pellets and Timothy hay, she stretches her neck through the opening of the cage fighting for her long awaiting bite. I dip some pellets into the palm of my hand and position them near the canal of her amazing nose so she doesn't have to fight any longer. I hear the slight sigh of relief escape her nose as she enjoys her familiar meal. then I place her bowl in the corner of her cage, and refill her water bowl with fresh freezing water, the way she loves it. I leave her to her meal as I return to enjoy mine. this is what I appreciate, my own space my own things my own time. after my food has vanquished from my royal blue dinner plate, I place the dish into the sink in my kitchen. open up the cabinets that sit above me and reach for my favorite wine glass. Red Moscato is the wine of choice for the evening, I believe it'll do the trick. I uncork the bottle using the black corkscrew from my kitchen drawer. I'm use to this by now, so it doesn't take long to separate the cork from it's bottle. as I hear the pop, the aroma intrudes my nostrils. I tip the bottle into my wine glass and allow the liquid heaven only to fill half; after all, I do have to work in the morning. I place the bottle back into the refrigerator and work my way back to my couch. I turn on some music and allow the wine and rhythm to take me away...
...to be continued

Lesson Learned

It's vital to express your feelings. even when you think others won't understand them. if someone does something that bothers you, upsets you, or something you may disagree with, speak up and let them know up front. Otherwise, the more you hold on, the more intense it will be once it finally comes out. 
I've recently had a falling out with another woman, and things exploded when the flame shouldn't have been ignited in the first place. if our issues would have been brought to the surface beforehand, it wouldn't have came to this point. I absolutely take my responsibility on my part, as communication should have been more effective. but as I stated before, it's important to establish what's bothering you ahead of time instead of when you say something out of context. thankfully, we were able to sit down and discuss everything like adults, and come to an understanding. after putting everything out on the table, the air had been cleared.
always be mindful of others, but don't forget yourself either. let go of burdens, bothers, and boulders on your shoulders. once that weight had been lifted, you can breathe much easier. 

Had to Take a Look in the Mirror

It's hard for me to continue to bite my tongue when my mind has so much to say
Not that I desire to be rude or disrespectful, but I demand to be respected
I've taken so much in my life to keep allowing people to treat me a certain way
I look at how a close relative of mine, allows people to run over her, talk bad to her, and blatantly disrespect her and she just takes it ..
I've found myself fallin in those same patterns .. same routines.. same cycle
it has to stop with me. it has stop somewhere
I've come to realize, no matter what I say to someone, no matter what action I take, it does have a consequence
But allowing disrespect and permitting others to believe that's okay, that can't happen
if I can't stand on my own feet, why do I walk?
why do I have a mouth, if I don't talk?
what's the point in having a voice, if I don't speak up?
It's been long enough
it's overtime to reveal myself
not for anyone else, but for myself
I am who I am
God has made me this way, and he had made no mistakes
He has made me to be the child he wants me to be
He doesn't want me to hide myself from the world 
He doesn't want me to shield my heart from those who earn it
He wants me to shine like the light as the sun on the world
Provide a different understanding 
But first I must understand me
I must know me
I must know what I will and will not accept
What I like and don't like
What I want and what I don't need
In order for me to help the world, I must help the Woman in the Mirror who smiles back at me ..

The Inevitable

I try to let go
but I can't
I want to move on
but I won't
I'm restricted, retained, remained in your restraint
detained, and maimed of my sanity
frantically, this insanity is becoming my tragedy
stripped of my free will
gripping for a way out still
whipped into commission
ripped into submission
insist this position
is my permanent condition
it's been encrypted
can't dismiss it
peace of mind, oh how I miss it
my life, is it what this is?
I can't accept this

Misunderstood

do you ever feel so misunderstood?
like really misunderstood?
that your intentions are only as good as others see fit
everything you do is a bad move
every step you take is criticized
nothing you do is good enough
ppl choose to look down on you to try to make themselves feel better
it's vital to know your worth
your value
the respect that you deserve should be the respect you demand, 
especially from yourself
don't give anyone the satisfaction of walkin over you
because you should always stand tall
no matter what
have confidence, have self respect
the one you should be concerned about making the happiest, is the one who looks back at you in the mirror 
who cares what other ppl think?
who cares if you're misunderstood?
understand and appreciate you
nobody else is walkin in your shoes and there's no one else in that mirror but you ..

When I Found Love

One of the toughest things to go through in life, is feeling unloved
Whether it be from a family member, friend, or lover.
Not feeling good enough to be respected
Like the sun could shine on all the other flowers but yours
Going through life thinking everything is your fault.
All the mistakes were made by you
Suddenly when you think you've found love, you sacrifice things you normally wouldn't to hold on to it
You lose yourself in the storm of manipulation
Being used by those who can smell your desperation
Then you find yourself with nothing once you've given your all
Love isn't manipulation
Love isn't lies
Love isn't playing games or putting down
Love is uplifting
Understanding
Kind, and patient..
It accepts you for your goods and bads
It knows you aren't perfect, but chooses to accept your imperfections
I've always felt as though I was never good enough to experience this kind of love,
Until I learned to search for it within myself ..